This is only a portion. The football helmets are important.
What started out as "we don't really want cake" evolved into "well maybe just a little cutting cake" evolved into what you see above (and below). We ended up with a three-tier cake, caramel brownies (bride's choice), lemon bars (groom's choice), and popcorn cookies to go with the cinema theme. The cake is lemon with lemon curd filling on top, chocolate with raspberry filling in the middle, and vanilla with vanilla buttercream on the bottom, all slathered with a truly absurd amount of vanilla buttercream and decorated with white and dark chocolate film strips. (Those are a project for a different post.)
Popcorn cookies! Don't knock 'em til you try 'em, they're actually fantastic.
Even though the wedding was held on what felt like the hottest weekend of the summer, everything got to the venue without incident, the chocolate transfers didn't melt (I was so worried about this that I brought ribbon to wrap around the base of each tier just as an insurance policy--didn't end up needing it, so now I've got some nice silver ribbon sitting around). There were some little to-go boxes on either side of the dessert table for people to take home leftovers, but there weren't too many, which is how I know I did my job right. I still have a firm no cupcake policy, but I'd definitely do the brownies or lemon bars thing again. Good choices all around.
Photos by the team at Unveiled Studio, who were EVERYWHERE at this wedding and did a fast and fantastic job--they had photos up during the reception!